- Beer, the cause of and solution to, all life's problems. - Homer Simpson
- Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra
- I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered. - George Best
- They talk of my drinking but never my thirst. - Scottish Saying
- One can drink too much, but one never drinks enough. — Gotthold Ephraim Lessing
- The first drink with water, the second without water, the third like water. — Spanish maxim
- You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. - Dean Martin
- Somebody left the cork out of my lunch. - W. C. Fields
- I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. - Frank Sinatra
- The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid. - Richard Braunstein
Bonus: Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. - Ernest Hemingway